I grew up in the Midwest in the 70’s and 80’s. At twelve I started stealing my parents’ Hustlers, Penthouses, and adult-themed books. This is where I truly learned about sexuality in all its colors and shades.
Occasionally BDSM themes or situations would arise. Someone would get tied up, spanked, or humiliated. It didn’t matter to me if the dom or sub was male or female. I didn’t care if it was one-on-one or a group setting. And I didn’t care if it was hetero, bi, or homosexual. I was hooked.
In high school I experimented a little with BDSM. I had no sense of limits or how to secure trust. I just knew that I was a dom and a sadist who also enjoyed a loving and romantic side. It was hard to reconsile being a fun-loving and respectful lover and also an inflictor of pain.
I joined the military and traveled the world. I saw women in Thailand pop live eels and birds out of themselves while performing on stage. I saw live sex shows and experienced a different view of sex than what the American Midwest had to offer.
I got married after Desert Storm mostly out of fear. I loved my wife, and we had sex I still dream about. But I was never meant to be with just one partner, and I wasn’t meant to have only plain vanilla sex. After having three children the marriage fell apart.
After my divorce I went back to exploring alternative forms of sexual expression. My fantasies and experiences began to build into a spiritual code. I continued to grapple with the themes of respect and BDSM. The benefit of age has been that I can now embrace the idea that some people want pain and some people want to give it to them. Healthy people will respect a person’s right to act in conformity with their nature, so long as that person doesn’t express their nature in ways destructive to themselves or others.
As vague as that sounds, I can sum it up like this–live and let live. I like to inflict pain as much as I like romantic sex. I’m a dominant male, and I set the tone. However, I’m not a misogynist. I respect my partner. What matters is compatibility.
My fictional world can’t just be about creating a masturbatory experience for the reader. The sex is a device to move the story along. Sex is a huge part of life. It is integral to our intimate relationships, so I wanted to write about how we all work through our inner conflicts, explore our curiosities, and progress in our relationships.
The world we live in is complex, and dynamics are largely about maintaining the status quo. But not everyone wants to be a stay-at-home mother or a career-driven patriarch. I wanted to write about people courageous enough to accept themselves as they were. The philosophy of The Life provides a framework for discussion on misogyny vs feminism or the unorthodox vs the traditional.
I believe that erotica can be deep and spiritual. It can touch on our rights to self-expression through alternative means. It can offer a message of self-acceptance while embracing acceptance for the other side of the coin. Can a woman be a submissive to a dominant male and still be a feminist? Is it automatic that he’s a misogynist?
I also think it’s important that erotica not pigeonhole BDSM or other forms of kink. These are vibrant and diversified dynamics and our writing shouldn’t reflect the shallow view of these relationships that people in the general public have. I try to highlight the importance of a dom’s job in knowing their sub’s needs. A sub is trying to live out their nature to its fullest. A dom has a high responsibility to develop sessions around the sub’s growth. Shallow relationships exist, to be certain, but they aren’t interesting. I can’t write mere smut for smut’s sake.
Currently, I publish my books on Amazon.com. List of my books.